Excerpt

Now

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One thing I can’t resist doing at Nigerian parties is eavesdropping on the gossip the aunties spread about people they know. Yes, I know I shouldn’t, but Nigerian aunties are loud. If Aunty Funke chooses to announce to the entire world that Bolanle dumped Chidinma and moved on to find his next target, I can’t walk up to her table and tell her to shut up, can I?

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While we all know it’s rude to broadcast someone’s private business at a public gathering, I know better than to get myself involved. I never know the people being talked about, and if Mom was still alive and here with me, she’d tell me to drink water and mind my business. 

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What I find interesting is that on my way home from these parties, I never think about the aunties or the people they were talking about. But what always remains etched in my memory is the heartbreaking love stories.

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It can never be me, I used to tell my naïve self. How can people who appear to be so in love grow apart and break up? What could possibly go wrong that would cause a relationship to go from a hundred to zero with no warning? How can a love that was once so alive become so dead and cold? I used to wonder about all these things until the day it happened to me. 

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Thank God I kept my relationship with Alex off social media and I don’t regret doing that because, with the way it ended, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I heard an aunty narrating our tragic love story at a random Nigerian party.

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For the first two months of our relationship, only Danielle and India—my close friends from college—knew about us. Then I later told my brother, Manny, when he suspected I was dating someone. His wife, Heather—who was his girlfriend at the time—was the next person I told and they were so good at keeping it discreet.

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My plan was to introduce Alex to Dad on college graduation day, but that plan blew up in my face when Alex broke up with me two months into senior year. I never got closure, and that sucks. Some days, I pat myself on the back for blocking his number and deleting it from my phone. But other days, I chide myself for ignoring his emails for the last two years. 

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But who cares about that? Certainly not me. I’ve moved on and that’s why I won’t spend any more of my precious time thinking about him. It’s been two years, for goodness’ sake.

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A soft knock on the door forces me to lift my head, and Lerato, my personal assistant, pokes her head into my office. “Good morning. Can I come in?”

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“Of course.” I welcome the distraction while sending a silent prayer up to God. I need him to expel all thoughts of Alex from my mind, so I can focus on being the boss babe I am.

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Lerato walks in, her notepad and pen in hand and her big curly afro bouncing with each stride. Only Lerato’s hair can wind up my desire to comb out my locs, so I can start wearing an afro again. But I’ve been at this junction too many times and I know better. Locs suit my busy lifestyle more. 

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“Here’s your cookies and cream frappuccino as you requested.” She places the drink in front of me before settling in the chair across from my desk.

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“Thank you so much. I don’t know what I’ll do without you.”

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“Girl, you’re the CEO of a multimillion dollar company—one of the fastest growing healthcare marketing companies in Jersey City. I’m sure you’ll be just fine without me.” Lerato chuckles.

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“You can’t be too sure about that,“ I say before sipping on the cold drink, taking my time to savor its sweet and creamy texture before focusing on the task at hand. “So, what’s our day looking like?” I open my Filofax planner, and Lerato turns on the iPad with our daily, weekly, and monthly schedules.

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“Well, it’s a full day of back-to-back meetings, starting with the end of week meeting with the managers at nine AM. But you asked me to schedule some time with your dad. He is already waiting for you downstairs in conference room A.” 

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“Thanks, girl. Please tell him I’ll be out in five minutes.” 

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When Lerato is out the door, I pause and take five deep breaths in and out. This usually helps, but so far today, it has done nothing to calm my nerves. It’s bad enough that October is officially my worst month and I don’t know what to do with all these emotions about Alex. But now I also have to worry about Dad, who randomly decided a few weeks ago he’ll be visiting Nigeria for a month—the same place where Mom died. 

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I tip my head back to keep the tears from falling, but it doesn’t work, so I stand up and walk up to my window. Dabbing on the tears at the corner of my eyes, I stare at the beautiful view of the Jersey City skyline and Hudson River outside.

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It’s on days like this that I’m grateful my office doesn’t have glass walls like the offices downstairs. My staff don’t need to see me shedding tears whenever a memory of Mom pops in my head, or when I remember how hurt I still am from my breakup with Alex. Lord, please help me deal with these emotions.

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After counting down from ten, I’m able to think clearly again, so I straighten out the creases on my beige pantsuit, tighten the ponytail on my burgundy locs, and walk out the door, my heels sending click-clack sounds down the hallway. 

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After making it two floors down in the elevator, I walk out into the open plan office, putting on my brave CEO face again. One thing I love about my team is that they take their work seriously. That’s why I’m never disappointed whenever I come down here. 

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“Morning everyone.” I walk over to Yin, Melissa, and Neil, who look up from their group discussion. 

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“Morning, boss.” Yin, Manny’s best friend—who is also the managing director here at Madu Health—answers for the group.

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“Oooh, I love the pantsuit.” Melissa clicks her fingers at me and my cheeks warm up because now I know they’re all looking at me. 

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“Aww, thank you.” I reach for a loc strand to flip, but then remember I’m wearing a ponytail today, so I let my hand brush awkwardly against my shoulder before turning to Yin. “I’m going to have a quick meeting with my Dad and then we can meet in my office. Is that okay?” 

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“Sure thing. I’ll get the others ready for our meeting at nine. See you upstairs, boss.” He nods and I walk away. 

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Outside the conference room, I take a deep breath and push open the door to find Dad facing the same view of the Jersey City skyline. He has one hand in his pocket and the other resting on his decorated walking stick. With him wearing his white Kaftan and black cap, you would think he is on his way to a wedding ceremony and not about to spend eleven hours on a flight to Lagos. I’ve yet to meet an Igbo man who loves his culture more than my Dad. 

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“Dad?”

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He turns around and sends me the warmest smile before opening his arms wide.

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I walk straight into his embrace, his warm sage scent saturating my nostrils and providing a safe and familiar space for me. He doesn’t know how much I need this hug and how much I need him to stay.

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“Kedu?” He asks in Igbo when we break the hug.

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“Adi m mma,” I respond, proud that I’ve finally learned how to respond to some of his questions.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He lifts my chin so I can look him in the eye. 

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I want to lie, but knowing Dad, he’ll only keep pressing until I tell him. “Dad, do you really have to make this trip? One month is too long. Can’t you stay for now and go another time?” Or better still, never.

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“Ezigbo m, it has been four years. I can’t keep postponing it. You know, I have many businesses and projects in Lagos. I’m grateful that God helped me find trustworthy people to manage them, but I need to oversee some things myself.” He squeezes my shoulders and I lower my head again, trying to keep the tears in.

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“It’s just that I’m scared and…”

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“I’ll be fine.” He cuts in before my thoughts wander off. “God will take care of me, okay?” 

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I give him a reluctant nod. I could beg him some more and try using my princess privilege to get him to stay. But being the only girl and the last born of the family can only get you so far. On this one, I’d be fighting a lost battle. Once Chijioke Madu makes up his mind, it only takes a divine intervention to change it. So I have to take a step back and keep praying until he returns safely.  

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“I’m so proud of you, my dear,” he continues. “You stepped up to this role as a CEO with very short notice and you have done extremely well taking over from me. I have to admit I was a little worried about whether you will handle the workload. But you have surprised me with your strength and determination. You will do amazing. I have no doubt about that.”

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“Thank you, Daddy.” I smile at him, his words calming my anxious heart.

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He reaches for his briefcase on the conference table and takes out a folder. “So, I looked through your progress report on your new client—HearCare. You officially start with them on Monday, right?”

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“Yes.”

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He hands me the folder. “Here are my thoughts on some things you should fine tune with the team to avoid any mistakes along the way.” 

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“Thanks, Daddy. I appreciate you always looking out for me.” 

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“Anytime, my darling. Have you spoken to your brother yet?” He asks his favorite question of the week. Dad is very passionate about keeping our family bond strong, so he always checks in to make sure Manny and I are communicating with each other.

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“Yes. I’m going over to have dinner and Bible study with them tonight.”

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“That’s very good.” He glances at his watch. “My dear, if I don’t leave now, I’m going to be rushing and you know I hate rushing.” He chuckles as he heads for the door and I follow closely behind him. 

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“I wish I could come with you to the airport.” 

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“No, I’m a grown man and I can take care of myself. Emeka will bring the car back after dropping me off at the airport. At least now you have the entire house to yourself for a month. Make the most of it.” He winks at me before hugging me tight. “I’ll call you as soon as I land.”

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“I love you, Daddy.”

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“Love you too, my princess,” he says before walking down the hallway, greeting the team as he goes.

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Lord, please take care of him. I send another silent prayer up to God before heading back to my office for the nine AM meeting. While I need a lot of distraction to keep my mind away from Alex, the downside about back-to-back meeting days is that they are mentally exhausting and I have to rely on lots of coffee to keep me engaged—something Lerato always delivers on. 

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Hiring her is the best decision I’ve made for myself so far. I consider myself privileged to have not only a very competent personal assistant, but also a good friend. I knew there was a reason I was so picky during the interview process. God saved Lerato for last because He knew the kind of person I needed.

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The icing on the cake was when I found out Lerato is also a Christian. Even though Madu Health isn’t a Christian-based agency, my parents built it on Christian principles. After Dad retired and Manny left, Yin and I were the only Christians in the company until Lerato joined the team. After two years of working with her, I can confidently say that there’s nothing better than riding with a sister that loves the Lord. 

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“I’m heading home now, boss.” Lerato walks into the office wearing her jacket and her backpack swung over her shoulder. “Is there anything else you want me to do before I leave?”

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Wow, how is it already five PM? “No, everything’s good here. Thank you so much for your help today. Do you have any plans for the weekend?” 

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“Yes, Paul is flying down from Portland to visit me.” A squeal follows Lerato’s words as a massive smile spreads across her face.

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“Aww, that’s so sweet.” Paul is her long-distance boyfriend. They met online two years ago, but the way she talks about him, you would think they’ve known each other their whole lives. They started dating around the same time Lerato started working for me, and it has been an honor watching their relationship blossom.

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“Yeah, he’s such a sweetheart. God has been so good to us. We’re in such a good place at the moment, and I have this feeling that he’s going to propose soon.” She places one hand on her chest and bites her bottom lip to quiet another squeal.

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“Wow, that’s great. I’m happy for you.” My voice sounds more strained than I’d like, but I ignore it because I’m genuinely happy for Lerato. Stories like this should give me hope that love doesn’t always end in heartbreak. But with my first ever relationship ending the way it did, it’s hard to hold on to hope sometimes. 

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“What about you? What will you be doing this weekend?” Lerato asks.

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“Well, I’m taking myself on another solo date and I booked a session at the spa tomorrow. I’m also going to attempt some more of my mom’s Nigerian recipes. It’ll help me relax.” That is all true, except the real reason I need to do these things is so I can distract myself from thinking about Alex—especially now that Dad’s not with me. The only thing that’ll help me is listening to worship music and praying. 

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“Eish, sis, you’ve spent the last four weekends going on solo dates. We really need to do something together again soon.”

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I chuckle and shake my head. “Please, girl, don’t be in a rush. I actually enjoy my company, you know?” 

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“Yes, I know, but you need variety in your social life. We should go shopping and watch a movie next weekend. Are you down for that?”

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“Of course. You know I can never turn down a date from you.” 

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“Perfect. I’ll put that down on the calendar.” 

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“Amazing. I shouldn’t keep you any longer. Get out of here and say hello to Paul for me.” I shoo her away. 

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“Thanks, see you Monday.” Lerato heads out and I start packing up all my stuff.

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“I’m heading off now, Olanna.” 

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I turn around to find Yin standing at the door. ​ “Oh, great. Is everything set for Monday?” 

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“Yes, I have a meeting with HearCare’s SEO representative first thing Monday morning.” 

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We will set up a search engine optimization team at Madu Health soon and this new SEO representative from HearCare will work closely with us. Manny tried to do the SEO on his own when he was managing director here, but I don’t like stress and I certainly don’t want to put that pressure on Yin. 

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“That’s awesome. How’s Jess doing?” I ask.

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“She’s much better now. It has been a difficult pregnancy, but God has kept her strong. We only have two more months to go and we will be holding our baby boy in our hands. I can’t wait.” The sparkle in his eyes as he talks about his unborn baby is unexplainable. 

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“Aww, I’m so excited for you guys. You’re not the only one waiting to hold him.” We share a laugh as he runs his hand through his dark silky hair and pushes his glasses close to his face. “Well, please go home and give Jess all the cuddles she needs. I’ll see you on Monday.” 

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“Good night, boss.” Yin waves at me before heading out, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

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I want that—all of that. Someone to do life with, to have babies with, to serve God with, and to grow old with. But how can I have that when I can’t get over the crippling fear of having my heart broken again? Lord, please, give me the strength to survive this season and to learn to be happy for others. Amen.